3 time wise girls - living it up while they can
(or pretending they are still hot/young enough to pose it up!)
As my birthday fast approaches (oh lordy, it is actually this week), I find myself not really feeling the usual feelings of excitement about it. Partly I blame my family for telling me I am old and partly I blame my friends for telling me I am still a baby! See, no ownership of my problems and I am about to turn 27!
Being extremely busy with the business of cleaning up and tying up loose ends at work, I haven't really had time to think about my birthday, let alone the fact that in exactly 2 days I am officially on HOLIDAY!!!
Reflecting back on the year (school year), I can't help but think about the influence of Facebook and being able to see what other people are accomplishing or doing. Most Mondays my friends can hear me cry:
'A friend from high school is engaged' OR
'An old Netball friend is pregnant' OR
'A girl I knew from T-Coll just got married'
I mean, EVERY FRIGGEN WEEK!
I can't help but wonder if this has something to do with my thoughts of impending doom, mixed with the comments of wanting a grand child and being to high maintenance or fussy to get a boyfriend OR the classic - why don't you have a boyfriend, hurry up!
Yeah - like we can all just go out and get one! Believe me, if I could, I would....
Or would I?
Over the last few months, especially after leaving China and landing in this city (Go the Kong), I have had a few thoughts...no...let's be honest here...a lot of thoughts about having a boyfriend. I mean, I was lucky with having an almost 5 year relationship with a guy and then dating guys in between then and now but none of them were ones that you just absolutely fancied the pants off them 'Crush style' (sounds terrible I know - I am 26, not 13 though, believe me!)
Seeing everyone else on a weekly or fortnightly basis become engaged or pregnant or married or in a relationship really took it's toll. Groups of friends, not just one or two were posting updated statuses full of exciting news of the opposite sex, relationship statuses were being changed, photos were being posted and they weren't themselves now....no they were _______ AND ________.
Can you just hear my distraught cries from my bedroom of 'Noooooooooo, why can't my prince come? Am I the only one without a boyfriend??!'
No....you can't....well, that's probably because you know me quite well. For those of you that REALLY know me well, you will pretty much know that I am a commitment phobe, and although I have come a long way, I have finally realised that the norm, that apparently seems to be taking over New Zealand and some parts of Australia, is just not me.\
I am just NOT the norm (this is not saying that I am special or anything...quite possibly, it is saying the opposite)
I have finally realised that I am obviously not ready for this 'time' in my life, I am not in the right place (physically and mentally), have bigger priorities to take care of first (financial and health) and don't even know where I will be after the next school year (July 2011). How can I have all of this going on and deal with/attract a sexy hot man AND keep him?
I guess the straight forward answer is 'I can't' and although I hate to say it I guess that I have to deal with it.
I am going to have to be time wise and remind myself it's just not my time (DAMN IT! haha)
But more importantly the big lesson that I have learnt this week is that:
Realising what's right for you, might not necessarily be the norm and to embrace it!
All good in theory but I'll keep working on it!
At least I will have a big group of fantastic people around me for my birthday, have a few laughs, lovely drinks and embrace the thought that AT LEAST I AM NOT TURNING 30!
3 more years of RSG fun!
Love RSG! xo
