The dating game

When did the dating game become an age game?  Better yet when did dating become a game?  Better yet, when did we actually start dating?  I mean seriously!!

Don't get me wrong, the idea of dating, or the cliched idea of dating that I know of, sounds fabulous, a little nerve racking, but fabulous.  However coming from little old NZ, dating is not a word that is used or experienced much.

I am not sure if it is just a NZ thing or if it happens in other countries, but dating in loose terms is just non existent.

The way to meet a man or boy depending on your strategy is one of 3 ways.  At or through work, through friends, or out in bars or more specifically, drunk off your face in a bar (nightclub) and then heading home with them.  If you make it through a night and on some kind of level (if it is ever possible in a drunken stupor), connect, then things may happen or progress.  Or, if you see each other again in town on a night out and you have a repeat performance, then you can count that as one step further to beginning a relationship.  Hmmmm dating?  I think not!

You see where I come from, you tend not to date but naturally progress from a casual relationship into a relationship and it usually starts with the two people swearing that they really don't want a relationship, and they may well mean it at the time, but as time goes on, things, chemistry or the people change.

So coming to Hong Kong or even China was a real eye opener to me. The idea of romance actually started to become a reality.  In Wuxi, continuing my home country customs I met a lovely guy, had a great night and then day, complete with DVD's in bed and ice blocks to ease the dehydration of a hangover and as I left to meet friends for dinner we parted ways, no number nothing.  Oh well, them's the brakes, I was used to it, and in some ways have come to expect it.

Imagine my surprise when I received a note on my door (having not heard the doorbell getting ready for a night out and singing at the  top of my lungs to 'Betty Davis Eyes' - BEST song ever), less than a week later, declaring this his last attempt to get ahold of me (he had emailed all of the local International Schools looking for me).  Long story short it was a great relationship full of romance, that lasted until he left to go back home, although he flew back for Christmas, gorgeous guy!

Next came, Emil (don't get a big head now, lovely boy), randomly met at a bar (surprise, surprise), remarked on Kiwi girls being cute, swapped numbers and then went out on a great date, he paid (strange for me, used to going dutch), had some after dinner drinks, a few games of Jenga (China bar special) and a lovely evening, followed by a few more.  Then he moved onto his next city (he was promoting Major League baseball in China).  Hmmmmm....I sense a pattern here!

Lately however, living in a very Metropolitan city - or what you hope would be a Metropolitan city - I have stumbled across the more widely known (or cliched/movie idea of) dating.  Unfortunately, it is not first hand experience for me but for my lucky and deserving friend.

After meeting at a very different place, they had a great night and then he proceeded to ask her out. Great right...well yes, but no, not really!  Did she have any idea what to expect? No!  Did she know how to act? No! Was I any help? NO!  Do we play games? Do they pay? What do we expect? What do you wear?  I mean seriously, the media/ movie idea of dating is ridiculously nerve racking!

After he let her know where they were meeting (thank god for modern technology and the internet) we were able to decide what she would wear and my nervous friend headed out to face the unknown.

Luckily, this man really knew how to put on a show, or genuinely knows how to date.  She was wined and dined, he had booked 2 restaurants just incase, entrees, mains and desserts were ordered, amazing wine, fantastic unawkward banter, walked home, kiss at the door and bobs your uncle - a cliched idea of a date!

Cliched? Real? Expected? Not in my book, and if so does this make us old fashioned or naive?

But my real question is when did I miss the middle part?  What is supposed to happen between one night stands somehow morphing into a relationship and then the full on media idea of dating?  Does it just come with age or is it a taste or country thing?  Where is the middle ground?

I certainly don't know! Does anyone?

Love RSG xo