Gin Wigmore... you may be on to something here. Especially with the line '2 years in heaven and 5 weeks in hell', except for the fact, in regards to my life it's '5 years in heaven and 2 weeks in hell'.....- 'where do I go now?????
I debated and debated whether to divulge this blog straight away and even though you may think badly of me, I feel that I really do need to actually document the life of a REAL single girl, bad thoughts from you or not!
Last weekend, on a strict budget (HK 7's is coming up!), I decided that staying in would be a good idea plus I had had a really crap week at work and needed to chill out. So Saturday night after a rather energetic dance class, a great shower and yummy ordered in food, I sat and enjoyed a bottle of NZ's finest Sauv.
Great idea you are thinking...oh, how wrong you and I both were!
4 things happened after the consumption of that bottle of wine, all of which I entirely blame on that fateful bottle! So, here goes....the story of my downfall!
Number 1
I joined an Online Dating Site!!!!!!!
Now this is totally not like me at all! Just ask my friends, I have always been totally against this and even though I have friends who have met this way and some who are even married now, I just think it is TOTALLY not for me! However in the spirit of this blog I was going to try it and see how it worked. Believe me this is not my cover up excuse for it at all because on this night there was no thought of this blog at all, I just thought it was funny.....plus I was bored....and don't forget the bottle of wine!
Number 2
Shortly after laughing at the above, contemplating pouring myself a vodka (when to stop! Oh well, it's safe drinking at home...hmmmmm, Amy...really?), I texted some friends to see what they were doing and I noticed that a guy I know (and had had a few dalliances with when I was at home for my sisters 21st - now, that's another story), was online on Facebook! Oh, LORD....the dreaded FB! Of course, feeling bold, I messaged him and as it was about 3am his time, he was in bed! Now, seriously this guy has got a YUM, sex on toast body and when he called me on Skype I was panicking! Picture me - sitting on my lounge floor, next to takeaway remnants, an empty bottle of vino, my hair freshly washed in an array of messy birds-nests and no makeup!!! He had to be kidding!!!!! Persisting, I answered and having no idea how to turn off my camera...(damn Apple)....I ducked down to give him a lovely view of my lounge - lucky him! There he was, all shirt off, sex on toast, in bed...did I mention YUM! SO anyway long story short, feeling bold, talks turned to our past dalliance, our recent dalliances with others and then a few other things, ending up with me seeing his 'diddle' - yes, I said 'diddle' - on Sykpe! Jesus, seriously! But seriously, it was pretty YUM! Hehe - nervous giggle!! I mean what else could I have done....I'm a RSG, not a porn star...I have serious body issues!!!!!! Shortly after that, not really knowing what to do and feeling slightly like a teenage girl, I hung up and got ready to head out and meet some friends......I know, I know - what happened to my weekend in, you are asking....my answer....that damn bottle of wine!
Number 3
It was 11pm by the time I meet my friends and as they had been drinking since 1 they were not exactly in the best state! After bumping into another friend, well, someone that nowadays I would merely call a colleague or acquaintance (that's ANOTHER story!), my friends decided they could exit. Feeling slightly ripped off, my determined nature kicked in and I was in for the Jager Bombs and the long haul. I vaguely remember seeing some other friends, the colleague inviting me to go walking the next day, explaining his 5.45am start with coaching a team and me saying yes to both options, him not believing me and then all of a sudden (or not, who would know?!?), he was gone and the next thing I knew, I woke up in the morning, in my bed with slight flashbacks of the rest of the night! Here goes -
- A red head
- Some free Cosmo's
- An accent
- The name Nicholas
- A taxi ride
- 2 magnum mint chocolate ice creams
- Feeling sick
- Throwing up down the side of my bed - twice
- Lots of kissing
- Numbers exchanged
- Meetings in an hour
- Clock reading 5.45am
Hmmmmm, these aren't necessarily in the right order, AT ALL, but that is seriously all I remember from around 12 until 5.45am. Right! SO after checking my phone, I was absolutely mortified!
Number 4
Apparently I had sent inappropriate and successive messages to the fore mentioned colleague/ friend/ now acquaintance! OH CRAP!!!! With no recollection, how the hell do you get out of that one, he had even sent replies...seriously...NO MEMORY...NOTHING!!!! Apparently, you send a very offhanded text saying that 'No, you won't be making it and that far out, what a laugh the messages were! No reply was had, neither was one from the number I had been given!
Needless to say that day was spent on the couch, hugging a bowl and ordering delivery McD's. Seriously, isn't the life of a real single girl just so fantastic and free and easy!
OH LORD! So there are my RSG confessions, open and honest, putting it right out there! It took me a few days to feel 100% and to actually clean my pigsty of a house - seriously the damage a person who drinks a bottle of wine by herself can do! Damn those strong and good New Zealand vintages!
UPDATE:
1- After laughing about it with some of my friends and my parents and receiving some interesting and some pretty dodgy emails from people, I took off my profile! I'm just NOT ready to make a cyber commitment! I believe my Mum said 'Amy, remove it please' - I think she's on to something!
2- All I can say is....YUM!!!!!!!
3 -2 days ago I was still finding remnants of that night in my room! DENIED and yet another cringe fest was had! Not so YUM!
4- Apparently offhandedness works as the colleague (as I have decided he is know officially known as), queried me about the lack of messages he was receiving from me now and about how he had had a bottle of water with my name on it waiting, with assistant coach written on it! Haha...what a laugh...NOT!
Lesson Learned?
After my 2 weeks in hell, I think a weekend in will do the trick.....maybe just one glass of wine to kill the boredom?
Love RSG! xo
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